[19:45] last night quasar was trying to argue with me about gamespy [19:45] rofl [19:45] what did he say [19:45] Nick change on #doom: RTCMarine --> RTC_Marine [19:45] and I was like, you know nothing about running a lare gaming websites [19:45] large [19:45] since when has doomworld qualified as large [19:45] :P [19:45] and he was complaining that blah blah fascist gamespy i hope they die [19:45] blah blah corporate whores [19:45] rofl [19:45] haha [19:45] and where does he expect the bandwidth and hard drive space to come from [19:45] dude gamespy is gay sometimes though [19:45] like [19:45] if he ever started a software company it would die in like three days [19:46] they made me sign up to download a file [19:46] people would get hired and leave the next day [19:46] and when i went to download it it was on a freepages.ugo.com account [19:46] o_O [19:46] and it's like "WTF if i register you should at least provide bandwidth instead of giving me a fucking link" [19:46] jesus Prower [19:46] link didn't even work either, bastards [19:46] hehe [19:46] one thing I really don't like atm is those stupid freedrive things [19:47] I would do that if I could get away with it [19:47] but I can't [19:47] space to store files and that [19:47] quasar has that free software mentality [19:47] yeah [19:47] WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THE MONEY FOR ALL THIS CRAP COMES FROM [19:47] and when you go to download something the site says the user has run out of his allocated bandwidth [19:47] chill out arioch, gee [19:47] z [19:47] heh [19:47] GavinJCD: dude you only use those as warez dumps [19:47] arioch [19:47] he said [19:47] ah [19:47] "i hope gamespy dies" [19:47] heh [19:47] blah [19:48] and I said "ok well then where would everyone be hosted" [19:48] well yeh, I know [19:48] I like ware [19:48] z [19:48] and i was like "hey lets go back to geocities" [19:48] heh [19:48] heh [19:48] and he was like "fuck geoshitties" [19:48] i dont like geocities [19:48] NOONE LIKES GEOSHITTIES [19:48] gamespy isn't so bad [19:48] i wouldnt join gamespy [19:48] i mean they host people and shit [19:48] for free, except for ad banners [19:48] i would have to use that stupid design [19:48] hahah [19:48] and use stupid forumplanet [19:49] doomcenter, if they ever start hosting again [19:49] haha [19:49] forumplanet is so gay [19:49] and say "ownage" and shit [19:49] I'll turn in. Night [19:49] and have to spank llamas [19:49] I think that's a requirement [19:49] and I would have to answer to hellchick [19:49] and fargo would be my boss [19:49] hehe [19:49] answering to hellchick is bad? [19:49] ok I understand the fargo thing [19:49] heh [19:49] is hellchick hot? [19:49] this must be asked [19:49] no [19:49] :( [19:49] hahaha [19:49] :( [19:49] you're lying [19:49] i deal w/ a lot of that network-wide stuff. not much customization [19:49] is she old :P [19:49] you just want her to yourself [19:49] bloodyhell [19:49] Maonth (Maonth@keller.nautrup.com) left irc: hmm [19:49] hey [19:49] want to hear some of hellchick's erotic fiction [19:50] YES [19:50] YES [19:50] rofl [19:50] YES [19:50] err....yes [19:50] ok [19:50] one second [19:50] i think we're all winners here [19:50] let me find the paragraph I always paste [19:50] fair play [19:50] hehehe [19:50] ok [19:50] now [19:50] she is a published erotic fiction writer [19:50] hellchick that is [19:50] cool [19:50] here is a sample of one of her stories [19:51] tell me this is not the greatest erotic fiction ever [19:51] did you buy one of her books? [19:51] They eased themselves to the ground, their bodies fusing together in mimicry of the nuclear force. She was the E to his mc 2. Lips melted with lips and skin with skin. As her lips grazed his neck, his chest, his stomach, he swore that he could feel electrons shifting in their orbits, not caring anymore if they obeyed the rules of the universe. She altered the laws of quantum mechanics itself. [19:51] heh [19:51] hey [19:51] I like it [19:51] LOL [19:51] MORE [19:51] ............ [19:51] are they supposed to be scientists [19:51] GIVE ME MORE [19:51] lol [19:51] wow [19:51] ARGH MORE [19:51] in fariness...that ruled [19:51] The Electron's Spin [19:51] Since the day she'd appeared in his class, legs crossed and blue eyes penetrating, the Greek alphabet could not help but walk drunkenly across the blackboard as he wrote, no doubt as spellbound as he. [19:51] Every semester he stood in some random room that looked like every other room in the building, preaching the laws of physics to dull-eyed collegiate neophytes, issuing them the commandment to go forth and integrate. His purpose on this earth, he felt, was to fill their cloudy heads with the wonders of the physical world. [19:51] But not her. She stared at him from her front row desk with eyes that hinted at some sort of secret knowledge he didn't have, something that the base animal in him was clawing to get at. Something told him that she didn't need to be here, that she didn't just know physics, but commanded it. He was sure that where she walked, electrons forgot their spin. [19:51] Linguica (nuwrinwiu@63.149.229.131) left irc: Excess Flood [19:51] ROFL [19:51] lol [19:52] naughty ling [19:52] flooding [19:52] rofl [19:52] Linguica (nuwrinwiu@63.149.229.131) joined #doom. [19:52] #doom: mode change '+o Linguica ' by ChanServ [19:52] I'm enthralled [19:52] good god [19:52] ling [19:52] how much of that got pasted [19:52] send me the entire text [19:52] first 3 paragraphs [19:52] it got all the way up to "electrons forgot their spin." [19:52] I have a woody [19:52] GO ON [19:52] Theories slipped out of his mind as she moved to lay above him, her hips locking with his. He looked up to see stars fighting each other to be her halo, moonlight begging to be her blanket. He reveled in the disorder and the chaos as his body merged completely with hers. And in the final moments of it all, when he felt his body take the leap into the unknown, he saw it all -- quarks to galaxies, atoms to universes. [19:52] damn, i must leave [19:52] log this hehe [19:53] He knew at that moment that everything he'd learned, everything he'd been teaching, was only a thin layer of dry dust hiding the rich, fertile earth beneath. She showed him the rules and the laws and then shattered them with a gentle shudder of her hips and the small cries of ecstasy. The stars seemed to fall like rain onto their bodies and he worshipped it. And her. [19:53] i can't stand up, my boner is stuck under my desk :/ [19:53] rofl [19:53] dude [19:53] rofl [19:53] she was an astrophysics major but she doesnt understand that THAT IS NOT SEXY [19:53] This is supposed to be arousing and not funny, right? [19:53] this erotic fiction makes no sense [19:53] JAYSUS [19:53] makes perfect sense to me [19:53] I'm all hot and bothered now [19:53] same [19:53] heh [19:53] it's like fuckin poetry [19:53] Ling! MAKE PASSIONATE LOVE TO ME [19:53] yeah she has her own website [19:53] well i don't have a physics major so blah [19:53] ARIOCH YOU ARE THE E TO MY M C SQUARED [19:54] lemme guess.... [19:54] no erotic fiction beats my saria story [19:54] LINGUICA YOU MAKE MY ELECTRONS STOP SPINNING [19:54] bigd` (bswarts@216.28.117.41) left irc: Leaving [19:54] .......... [19:54] let me try to find some more crap [19:54] rofl [19:54] actually I kinda like it [19:54] how hard is it to write erotic fiction anyway [19:54] not hard [19:54] prower: some knowledge would help [19:54] hellchick.gamespy.com ?? [19:54] prower: and experience [19:54] "he plunged his hard cock into her... thingy... between her legs" [19:54] its hard for me..... [19:54] i wrote some erotic fiction when i was like 12 [19:55] ? [19:55] rofl [19:55] Linguica: you naughty boy [19:55] Linguica the pimp [19:55] i was like "he thrust his purple warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding" [19:55] good quote [19:55] rofl [19:55] lol [19:55] that's from naked gun 2 [19:55] bastard :p [19:55] i know [19:55] i stole it [19:55] hah [19:55] purple warrior [19:55] and the guy said "that's what we call pillow talk baby" [19:55] haha [19:55] arioch has changed the topic to 571 [19:55] er [19:55] arioch has changed the topic to (bXq) [19:54] i wrote some erotic fiction when i was like 12 || [19:55] i was like "he thrust his purple warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding" [19:55] rofl [19:56] yeah [19:56] lmfao!! [19:56] i wrote it just after army of darkness came out [19:56] ebcause i remember i used the pillow talk line from the commercials for it [19:56] you got ideas from that O_o [19:56] haha [19:56] ok I need a good porn session [19:56] OMG, FYI that is TMI [19:56] tmi? [19:57] too much info [19:57] ah [19:57] Sound trickles out between clenched teeth, a tongue circles a hard nipple. Nips, bites, moans. An arching back. Hips search for hips until his cock slides smoothly into her, her eyes squeezed shut and a smile on her face. Rhythm now. The creak of leather every regular second, like the ticking of a clock. Her fists tugging at the leather but not wanting to let go. [19:57] http://mewse.alkali.org/old/saria.txt [19:57] jaysus.... [19:57] mewse: now THAT is quality [19:57] argh, now im stuck >:/ [19:57] it doesn't open you drunken canadian [19:57] She spread her knees as she looked up at Perseus, still raining orange, while Matthias enveloped her clit with the hot wetness of his tongue. She breathed harder and faster as he licked at warmth between her legs, and soon she was there, with Perseus, raining down through the sky in a screaming streak of orange brilliance. [19:57] http://mewse.alkali.org/old/SARIA.TXT [19:58] WTF [19:58] perseus? [19:58] ohh god [19:58] dos2unix [19:58] is perseus a person who lives in the sky? and is oragne? [19:58] She reached down to remove his hand and replace it with a different part of him. Water coursed in and around them as she slid him into her, her hips meshing with his as they fell into the natural rhythm that the crashing waves beat out. Dream time took over; seconds stretched into minutes, minutes into hours. The tide rose with them. [19:59] what the hell, is going on in here [19:59] heh [19:59] jesus christ [19:59] mmm [19:59] sexy [19:59] Jon_R (jon@rimmer.demon.co.uk) joined #doom. [19:59] #doom: mode change '+o Jon_R ' by ChanServ [19:59] Cats have barbed cocks that grab the walls of their lover's cunt and tear it from the inside to the outside, Liola says casually. I'm grasping, groping at the memory of Caroline as I fucked her slowly beneath me, and seething at this witch's contortion of my reality. She is so very in control. They are all in control. Just so you know, she finishes with a cruel smile. [19:59] * diluted wonders how this is entertaining, its boring, i dunno [19:59] * RTC_Marine gets a crow bar [19:59] heh [19:59] ok enough Ling [19:59] before my dick explodes [19:59] Linguica: wtf [20:00] man i don't understand her fiction [20:00] but that doesn't answer the question [20:00] is she hot?!?! [20:00] yeah, mine is stuck under the desk atm [20:00] Then, without a word, he entered. Or maybe there were words. He was whispering against my ear but there was no sound. I could only feel him inside me, filling the holes that couldn't be erased. But as he moved within me, I stretched back away from him, feeling the holes expand and grow. As his breathing and his hips moved faster, I looked behind me to see it - a wormhole, opening up in space and leading to God knows where. [20:00] LOL [20:00] and suddenly the porn changes into bill and ted's excellent adventures [20:01] * fyre^OS spanks prower [20:01] ROFL [20:01] Their sex0r tore the fabric of space and time apart!! [20:01] rofl [20:01] Dude, that would rock. [20:01] THEY [20:01] THEY'VE GONE WHERE NO MAN AND WOMAN HAVING SEX HAVE GONE BEFORE [20:01] * prower rapes fyre^OS [20:01] Have a wang that could manipulate space and time... [20:01] I think of exclusion as his lips and teeth tease the hardened cap of my nipple, making me gasp and twist my reddening wrists in the tight black leather. The creaks sound like high-pitched laughs. I think of how nature requires the taking on of roles in the lives of particles, the bins that she forces them to exist in. I think of spins -- the spin up of his control matched with the spin down of my submission. More creaks echo off the walls as I pull sharply [20:01] Oniko: i think my friend has one of those [20:01] * Oniko wants a transcendental wang. [20:01] jeeeeesus christ [20:01] PH33R MY IRON WANG [20:01] rofl [20:01] bloody hell LING [20:01] S&M [20:01] I aint reading it [20:01] it's too mucgh [20:01] * Oniko attaches his shopping list to RTC's dick with a kitchen magnet. [20:02] Linguica: i'm not sure this qualifies as "erotic fiction" [20:02] prow- It might for women. [20:02] argh [20:02] it's hardly erotic, and it's more like science-fiction than just plain fiction [20:02] She leaned over him, spreading her long hair over his chest as he gripped her arms and leaned his head back. They were locked as one. A tear snaked down his temple as he embraced her, feeling the peace and union he tried so hard to bring to others with his teachings. She sensed him completely, knowing how to move so as to bring him pleasure without pain. As their breathing synchronized into one, he laid a hand to her cheek. "I love you, wife," he said, gas [20:02] gas [20:02] heh [20:02] heh [20:02] those stories were gassed by lowtax [20:02] its so hard it hurts now, argh ling stop! [20:02] i can see why [20:02] so Ling, hellchick is an accomplished porn story writer eh [20:03] I probably didn't need the Ding Dongs. Hell, I probably needed them less than I needed the economy-size bag of chips trying to hide behind the milk in my grocery cart. Unsuccessfully, I might add. I saw the look that snotty little whippet gave me in the next line over. Her pert little bleached-blonde head looked me up and down when she saw what I was hauling up to the checkout counter. Yeah, have an M&M, you five-foot tribute to plastic. [20:03] she blows up guys dicks for a living then eh? [20:03] nice [20:03] i wonder why she does that? [20:03] well apparently gamespy doesn't pay enough [20:03] hahah [20:03] ask her [20:03] the dreaded potato-chip buying scene [20:03] hahaha [20:03] "Let's finish the sonata," he said. He moved in front of me and took the cello from my hands, leading me to the bed. I laid back as he covered my body with his. "Natural arcs," he said. "The body moves in natural arcs." His hands traced the curves of my hips as he slid into me, making our bodies the metronome to our music. I rocked my hips upward in time with his, meeting each thrust with my own. The humid slickness of his skin under my hands felt like the [20:03] or maybe it gives her some sort of fulfillment [20:04] maybe its part of her everyday life, dunno. [20:04] He shoved his fat cock into her cunt. [20:04] you can't get more erotic than that [20:04] * Isle spanks [20:04] no [20:04] i could jerk off just to that one line [20:04] prow- There's more to it than that. [20:04] straight to the point [20:05] [20:05] i could jerk off just to that one line <-- That's 'cause you're still a teenager. Teenagers have like, perpetual stiffies. [20:05] there doesn't have to be [20:05] I could take no more. Sliding my fingers into his short, dark hair, I arched my hips to meet him. The smells of Russia surrounded us -- rich cooking, the leaded gasoline from the cars outside, the dust of the tsars and the communists -- and mixed with the odor of sex that we were creating. I threw my head back as he licked, gripping the strands of his hair between my fingers for dear life. Within moments, my cries resounded against the thin apartment walls [20:05] "i was wrestling with this one girl and i accidentally ripped off her clothes and slammed my cock into her pussy and then i realized we were fucking, didn't hurt" [20:05] :) [20:05] Oniko: just cause mr winky dosen't always work fo you... [20:05] ROFL [20:05] LOL [20:06] Because she will break the heel for him, because she will serve it warm with dripping, melting butter as he waits at the table, because she has always done this, she will walk later out into that snowy pit and drive. And she will forget that she left the golden band on the kitchen counter, where it wouldn't become clogged with the mess and stickiness of raw bread. And she will run flour-caked hands with dough under the nails over the skin of someone else, [20:06] lol [20:06] caco stats chatter [20:06] Ling is rising pretty fast is my guess [20:06] argh, stickyness [20:06] GavinJCD: yes, rising in more ways than one [20:06] haha [20:06] rofl [20:06] good one [20:06] ok I think we've had enough [20:06] *wank* *wank* [20:07] you people are turned on by this crap [20:07] yes [20:07] arioch, you finished yet? [20:07] yes [20:07] yes [20:07] "Oh, yes," I breathed. His fingers explored me deeper, pushing insistently as if he'd find that hidden mekaran if he just pushed a little more. But he wouldn't find one in me. I had no wires, no circuitry, no "mechanical orchid" to take the place of me. He knew now why I cost more than the other girls. I was the only one left. [20:07] um [20:07] ENOUGH [20:08] dude [20:08] i have not had a boner in the last 15 minutes [20:08] apparently hellchick is not good at getting me aroused [20:08] she probably is not good with words [20:08] * Oniko goes to college and takes "Getting prower Aroused 101" [20:08] http://www.cartoonx.nu/cgi-bin/story/story.cgi?next=1&chapter=0 [20:08] now THAT gives me a boner [20:08] and it's written by random people [20:08] ooh here's some poetry she wrote [20:08] and usually makes little to no sense [20:08] Breakfast [20:08] maple syrup [20:08] was meant for [20:08] pancakes [20:08] but Aunt Jemima [20:08] never [20:09] prow- "He thrust his cock into her pussy until she came." [20:09] met [20:09] you [20:09] :P [20:09] Oniko: man you're getting me hard [20:09] now ive got hardware :P [20:10] bleh thats enough of that [20:10] * Oniko puts on his "I gave prower w00d and all I got was this stupid T-shirt" T-shirt.